When we are making disciples we are calling people to union with Christ. That is the end goal. The clearest picture in the scriptures of the union between Christ and his church is marriage, most clearly in Ephesians 5. Marriage, sex - even gender itself - is created to make us long for the Great Wedding feast of Christ and his bride.

Therefore if we feel we are forced to make trade-offs between ministry and investing in our marriage, we know automatically that we have taken a huge false step. All the alarm bells ought to be ringing. It would benefit any leader to go up and down the New Testament spotting the parallels between God's family and our families, between leading in our families and leading in God's family.

Giving attention to our families is not only vital for its own sake and for our sake, it also models to others how to live in the love of God at home. Ad it is critical for biblically functioning churches as it uniquely models the love of Christ for the church in a way that nothing else does. It is impossible to have a biblically God-directed ministry at the expense of biblically attentive marriage. Don't ever get fooled into cheating on time with your spouse in order to make it feel like your ministry works properly. It is spiritually deadly.